Cheer down :(

I feel so stress right now.I cry everyday. Yes, everyday. I'm so weak. I'm competing for one position in the vulcanz all girls team and i didn't come for 2 practices so i guess i miss a lot. Especially the lady gaga dances. The weird, awkward and beautiful lady gaga dances so i caught up quite slow. But since this week i'm catching up quite good and i think i'm on the same stage with my other competitor. I'm just so frust because i still don't know whether i'm going to be in or not. I'm so frust with myself. Why can't i do better than her, why can't i beat her, Why the hell am i so freaking weak?! I'm thinking right now that i maybe have only 80% to be in so my captain asked me to join another team but the competition is this saturday and i only have one day to learn the new dance and if i don't, this saturday, i'm gonna screw the whole team up. Its impossible to learn the whole routine in like 2 hours and i'll be blaming myself and they'll blame me for screwing up. Its better for me not to come to the competition at all rather than torchering myself see them performing. My situation is like only have one good option which is don't come and torcher yourself. The other options are screw the team up and sit there torchering myself see them performing. i keep repeating the same sentence and i sound like almost giving up. Maybe i shouldn't give up but for now, i should just try harder and see what fate is going to give me.

p/s: Steph helped me a lot. She taught me the dances, and she cheered me up. Thanks Steph, eventhough we're not close, as my senior i'm gonna respect you with the same level as our captain :)